Funny Fridays: Silly PG-13 Jokes

So being that it's Friday and the weekend is upon us, how about a little sexual fun to liven the mood? Came across some hilarious jokes that I wanted to share with you all! If you are under 18 please do not read or ask your parents for consent. Thanks bye. 

Four Types of Sex

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

While making love, he says:

- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.

One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit? A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts

Swedish Student 

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

Guys out there...please never use this pick up line.....

This guy was walking down the street and he bumped into a really hot girl.

"Hello, sexy!" He said while stopping in front of her "What's your name?"

She didn't answer.

"Well, my name is Barry"

"Okay" she said "Barry what?"

"I can't really pronounce it, so I'll write it down"

So he wrote it down.

She read allowed, "Madickenewe. Barry Madickinewe."

She slapped him and stormed off.

These kill me.... 

- Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while  
  getting a rise.
- Whether or not sex is better than pot, depends on the pusher.
- Oral sex makes one's day, but anal sex makes one's hole weak.
- If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!
- Sex is like vacation....it never lasts long enough.
- If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.